top of page
  • Amy Liz Harrison


Generally, speaking, heart function is not something that anyone gives a lot of thought to, until they have a heart problem. (Just ask me, or our fearless founder Alysse Bryson.) Of course, everyone can benefit from this list, but it’s especially important for women to become educated on the importance of cardiovascular health since by and large, our society still considers it primarily a man’s concern. Cheers to a sober, healthy heart in 2024!

  1. Lower Blood Pressure: Because high blood pressure is so last year. Your heart’s trying to chill, not do a marathon.

  2. Reduced Risk of Heart Disease: Think of it as ghosting heart disease before it even slides into your DMs.

  3. Decreased Risk of Arrhythmias: Who needs an irregular heartbeat? It’s like your heart trying to dance to dubstep.

  4. Improved Cholesterol Levels: Wave goodbye to bad cholesterol – it’s not the kind of “bad” that gets more interesting with time.

  5. Better Circulation: Improved circulation means your blood isn’t taking detours and scenic routes around your body.

  6. Less Risk of Cardiomyopathy: Your heart won’t be working overtime for no overtime pay. 

  7. Decreased Likelihood of Heart Attack: It’s like your heart sending you a “thank you” note for not putting it through the wringer.

  8. Reduced Inflammation: Without alcohol, your body’s inflammation goes on a much-needed vacation.

  9. Increased Oxygen Efficiency: More oxygen efficiency – because your organs aren’t into asphyxiation.

  10. Improved Sleep Quality: Sleeping better, so your heart doesn’t have to pull an all-nighter.

  11. Lower Risk of Stroke: It’s like putting up a “No Trespassing” sign for strokes.

  12. Stabilized Heart Rhythms: Your heartbeat keeping the rhythm better than a metronome on steroids.

  13. Enhanced Energy Levels: More energy, because your heart’s not playing tug-of-war with alcohol.

  14. Boosted Immune Function: A sober heart makes your immune system feel like it just won the lottery.

  15. Reduced Fatty Deposits Around the Heart: Less alcohol means your heart isn’t hoarding unnecessary fat like a doomsday prepper.

  16. Better Hydration: Your body isn’t parched like a desert in a drought anymore.

  17. Lowered Stress on the Heart: Your heart’s stress levels drop like a hot potato.

  18. Improved Nutrient Absorption: Your body absorbs the good stuff, not just last night’s tequila shots.

  19. Less Weight Gain: Say hello to weight loss and goodbye to your beer belly.

  20. Enhanced Exercise Performance: Exercising without feeling like you’re dragging a ball and chain.

  21. Decreased Risk of Alcohol-Induced Irregularities: No more of alcohol playing DJ with your heart rate.

  22. Longer, Healthier Life: It’s like giving your heart an all-access pass to the Fountain of Youth.

  23. Better Overall Cardiovascular Health: Your heart’s no longer in survival mode, it’s thriving.

  24. Improved Mental Health: A clear mind leads to a happy heart, and who doesn’t want a jolly ticker?

So, there you have it, 24 snarky reasons why your heart is throwing a non-alcoholic party when you quit drinking! 🍹❤️🥳

SOBER SWEAT: Sober Curator Ashley Sunderland is your weekly pump to get you over the weekly hump. Quick workouts and nutrition tips that are too legit. (Too legit to quit!)

5 views0 comments


bottom of page