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  • Amy Liz Harrison

24 Slightly Irreverent Reasons to Get Sober in 2024

You’d be surprised to know how many people’s sobriety date is January 1st! Getting sober is a great idea anytime of course, but it’s natural to think about trying a sober lifestyle when the year is fresh. Please ignore any snarky comments on the list that you don’t care for- they are simply meant to be silly. The seriousness of sobriety is a lot sometimes, and this is meant to be a lighthearted list just for fun… the brokenness that came with my personal rock bottom had to be counter balanced with a healthy dose of humour. Take what you like and leave the rest!

  1. Return of the Mack- I mean, the Memory: Say goodbye to playing detective the morning after drinking, trying to figure out what you said or did, or doing the “scroll of shame” through your phone to see which Ex’s you called or texted.

  2. Sharper Mental Clarity: Ever notice how your brain calls in sick the day after drinking? You can kiss that goodbye. It’s like the fog lifts, and suddenly you can see your path more clearly, making decisions with newfound confidence and solving problems with ease.

  3. Revitalizing Sleep: You won’t miss waking up at 3 AM with your tongue feeling like Palm Springs in July.

  4. Weight on Your Terms: Farewell to those empty calories! Your body starts to thank you, and you’ll discover a renewed sense of control over your physical well-being.

  5. Radiant Energy: You’ll wonder why you ever settled for feeling anything less than fully alive, as you embrace each day with enthusiasm and vigor. No step aerobics or spin bike required, but they can be if you so choose, because you won’t be a hungover zombie.

  6. Mighty Immune System: Your immune system goes from a whimper to a roar, ready to take on the world, helping you stay healthy year-round. If you do get sick, you’ll be amazed how much quicker you’ll recover.

  7. Safety First: No more mystery bruises! You’ll notice fewer weird scrapes and bumps that came out of nowhere. Life’s little mishaps become less frequent, allowing you to move through life with grace and ease. Now clumsiness will just be an innocent accident or a mistake.

  8. Liver Love: Your liver gets a well-deserved vacation and comes back stronger than ever, ensuring your body functions at its peak. Liver: it’s the ultimate comeback kid.

  9. Glowing Skin: Hydration becomes your new BFF, and your skin reflects it, giving you a radiant and youthful complexion. No more zits from excessive sugar or dull, dry eyes either. You can toss the bottle of Visine perpetually kept in the console of your car.

  10. Happy Tummy: Digestion becomes a breeze, leaving you with a newfound lightness, and you’ll finally say “peace, out” to day after nausea and dehydration.

  11. Emotional Uplift: Anxiety and depression take a backseat as your mental health thrives, allowing you to embrace life’s joys with open arms.Hey simply not participating in the slow demise of one’s personal health is a great starting place.

  12. Rekindled Relationships: Your loved ones are thrilled to have the “real you” back in their lives, and you’ll find deeper connections and shared laughter. In some cases the “real you” is new even to yourself.

  13. Financial Freedom: Ever cancel a bunch of online subscriptions and watch your bank account rise? Watch those savings add up as you say goodbye to booze-related expenses, giving you the means to pursue your dreams… or just buy more tacos.

  14. Productivity Soars: You’ll marvel at what you can accomplish when alcohol isn’t holding you back, achieving goals you never thought possible. Like driving at night, for example.

  15. Wise Choices: Sobriety brings clarity to decision-making, leaving you feeling empowered to make choices that align with your true self. Like the choice to wake up in a stranger’s bed or not…. Whereas before, for some of us when drinking, that was an occurrence not particularly in our control.

  16. Time Abundance: Hours seem to multiply as you discover new or forgotten passions, allowing you to savor the richness of life. It’s fascinating and you will start to wonder how you ever actually had time to drink.

  17. Hatred-Free Mornings: Your nights become restorative, and mornings greet you like an old friend, as you savor the simple joy of waking up well-rested.Wake up feeling fresh as a daisy every morning; no hangovers to ruin your day, leaving you ready to seize every moment. Or at least some moments. Look, life’s hard enough, let’s not put too much pressure on ourselves.

  18. Say Goodbye to the “Hangover Shits”: No more random bouts of diarrhea that aren’t so random- but annoyingly only seem to occur the day after a binge. (See happy tummy).

  19. Boosted Self-Confidence: Your self-esteem blossoms, and you carry yourself with newfound pride, radiating self-assuredness in everything you do. No more looking in the mirror and hating your reflection because you can’t believe you’re still drinking.

  20. Emotional Harmony: Say goodbye to wild mood swings; emotional stability is your new norm, fostering healthier relationships and inner peace. Experiencing the joy that comes from authentic connection that was once the holy grail is now an every day occurrence. No liquid courage required.

  21. Fitness Flourishes: Maintaining an active lifestyle becomes a breeze without alcohol’s interference, helping you achieve your fitness goals. If Richard Simmons comes out of hiding, he will be the first one to congratulate you.

  22. Legal Serenity: Legal woes and alcohol-induced problems become distant memories, allowing you to focus on creating a brighter future. And let’s face it, it’s not easy to find a felony-friendly job these days.

  23. Sharpened Mind: Experience improved memory and mental acuity without the haze of alcohol, making you more present in each moment. Let’s face it, for some of us, we need as much help as we can get in this area, and we don’t need booze detracting from the little sharpness we may have, am I right?

  24. Longevity: By letting go of alcohol, you set yourself up for a longer, healthier life free from its risks, ensuring you’re here to enjoy all life has to offer for years to come. Quitting drinking also eliminates so many potential early deaths from failing health or accidents.

Remember, this journey is unique to you, and the benefits you experience may unfold in their own time. Embrace the freedom and joy that comes with this choice and let 2024 be a year of flourishing in a new life!

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